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Always In My Heart – Chapter 13

Chapter 13

Love and Trust

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Seung Jo was allowed to help Chae Kyung watch over Young-ah because Shin was working in his office with Secretary Kong on a project to keep tourism and the entertainment business in Korea flourishing between other Asian countries.  Since Shin had wanted to work in the film industry, he was interested in learning how the entertainment business worked with promoting their films, television and music to the world.  The role of the Monarchy is public and charitable events as well as helping to strengthen national unity and stability.

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Yul was already gone from the Palace working on his military duty in the Navy.  He was stationed in TongYeong, near Busan. Shin and Chae Kyung became Ji Woo’s guardians/surrogate parents whenever Yul was not home in the Palace.  Hwa Yeong, Yul’s mother and Ji Woo’s grandmother was allowed to visit on weekends and for special occasions. The same was for Eun-Hee’s parents.  They came on weekends and for special occasions such as Ji Woo’s birthday or Christmas.

While the children were playing outside on their new playground, Seung Jo, Court Lady Choi and Ji Woo’s nanny, Kim Na Na were to watch over the children.

Seung Jo was enjoying playing with the children on the playground.  He said he would watch over Suzy, while Lady Choi watched over Young-ah and Kim Na Na watched Ji Woo.  All three children decided to try the swings.  Seung Jo pushed each one of the children from behind while the women kept an eye on all three of them swinging back and forth.

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Ji Woo, Suzy, Young-ah

Seung Jo was smitten with little Suzy’s cuteness.  He was having so much fun playing with the children.   He was also enjoying seeing Lady Choi interact with the children. He could tell that she loved the children just as much as he did.

The children loved Seung Jo because he would let them hang all over him.  Ji Woo hung from his left arm and Young-ah hung from his right arm and Suzy climbed on his back.  She was hanging on for dear life as he lifted the boys up and down as if they were dumbells.

Lady Choi was telling Seung Jo to be careful that none of the children should fall.  Kim Na Na could tell that Seung Jo and Lady Choi were spending a lot of their free time together too.

Chae Kyung decided to meet with Hyo-Rin to get her opinion on how she should tell Shin about her inability to get pregnant.

“Well, I went to the doctor’s to make sure that I’m able to get pregnant since I miscarried the last time I was with child.  He says, I’m okay.  So, I’m wondering what could be the problem?  Shin and I have been trying almost everyday to have a baby,” Chae Kyung said with a concerned look.

“What!!!  Everyday your having sex?” screamed Hyo-Rin.

“Yah!!! Don’t announce it to the whole world to hear!  Besides, I didn’t say we were doing it everyday.  Maybe, every other day for sure.” Chae Kyung thought as she put her finger to her head as if this would help her to remember.

“Maybe something’s wrong with Shin.  He’s going to need to go to the doctors to see if he could be the problem,” laughed Hyo-Rin.

“Why are you laughing, Hyo-Rin?’  Chae Kyung was confused.

“I can’t picture Shin going to the doctors for this problem,” grinned Hyo-Rin.

“Your right, Hyo-Rin.”  Chae Kyung was pouting.  “I’m afraid to tell him that he has to go to the doctors. That’s why I’m asking you how I should tell him,” said Chae Kyung.

“Don’t worry, just ask Secretary Kong to inform Shin what the doctors found out,” she said.  “Maybe, he won’t be as upset if Secretary Kong told him.  He usually listen’s to Secretary Kong’s suggestions all the time.”  Hyo-Rin tried to reassure Chae Kyung that it would be okay.

Chae Kyung was hoping that Hyo-Rin was right about Secretary Kong being able to give the news to Shin and getting him to follow up with a physical.

Later that evening, Chae Kyung went to speak with Secretary Kong.

“Ahjusshi Kong,” yelled Chae Kyung waving her hand to get his attention as he was walking down the hallway.

“Ne, Bingung Mama?”(Yes, Your Royal Highness?) Said Secretary Kong as he bowed to her.  “What can I do for you?”

“Can we go to my Palace? We can talk in the living room.  I need to speak to you privately,” she said.

“Of course, Bingung Mama, as you wish,” said Secretary Kong.

When they were both in her living room of the Palace, Chae Kyung asked Secretary Kong to sit down across from her.

“I am asking a favor of you.  This is a delicate matter that requires your utmost privacy and trust,” Chae Kyung said in a whisper so that her point would come across as very important.  “Shin goon, I mean Paehya and I are trying to have another baby.”

Secretary Kong gave one of his precious smiles and said, “Chukahaeyo Bingung Mama!”

“Gomasseumnida,(Thank you),but…I am not yet pregnant.  So, I need you to tell Paehya that I have not been able to get pregnant.  Let him know that I’ve been to the Palace doctors and they said that there seems to be nothing wrong with me, so they are asking that Paehya come in for a full physical just to make sure that he is okay,“ explained Chae Kyung.

“Oh, so your saying that it is Paehya’s turn to get checked for fertility?” asked Secretary Kong.

“Kurae! (Your right!)  Please ask him to go to the Palace doctor’s so that we can rule out the possiblity of infertility on his side.”  Chae Kyung said. “Just let the King know that it is a complete physical to rule out any problems.”

“Geogjeonghaji masseyo. (Don’t Worry.) Bingung Mama.  I can ask Paehya to go to the doctors for a physical sometime this week.  His schedule is not too full just yet.”  Secretary Kong tried to reassure Chae Kyung that everything would be fine.”

“Kinchanaeyo? (Are you okay?)” asked Secretary Kong.

“Kinchanaeyo. (I’m okay),” Chae Kyung felt better after speaking with Secretary Kong.

The following week, Chae Kyung came to visit Shin at his office to see if he would like to have lunch with her and Young-ah on the veranda.  Just then Secretary Kong came into Shin’s office.

“Oh, Annyeonghaesaeyo, Bingung Mama. (Hello) said Secretary Kong as he bowed to her.

“Annyeonghaesaeyo, Secretary Kong,” said Chae Kyung as she returned his bow.

“It’s a good thing you are here.  I can tell both of you that Paeyha’s physical examination came out excellent.  He is in very good health.  The only thing that they ask from you Paehya is a semen sample,” he said holding a plastic container for the sample.

“Waeyo?” frowned Shin. “There’s nothing wrong with me…hmmm…in that department,” growled Shin.

“Oh…well…ah…Bingung Mama, asked that you get a full physical, so we need a semen sample to do an analysis on your fertility,” explained Secretary Kong.

Shin looked at Chae Kyung and then he looked at Secretary Kong and made a mad face.  “Let me speak to my wife privately, please,” he said with a huff.

Secretary Kong walked out backwards and bowed as he was leaving.

“Yah, Ms. Airhead!  What is going on here?  Why am I finding out now, that I have to give a semen sample to the doctors?” Shin said angrily.

“Well, ummm…we have been trying to have another baby for over three months now and so I went to the doctors to make sure that I am still able to become pregnant even after falling off the horse.  The doctors confirmed that I am physically fine, so they just want to make sure that you are also okay with your fertility,” Chae Kyung said nervously.  “Normally, most doctors would say to wait a whole year if we do not get pregnant, but being that we are the King and Queen, they said it wouldn’t hurt to make sure positively that you are okay too.”

Shin just shook his head back and forth as if to say, “Why the hell does it have to happen to me?”  “Aish!” growled Shin.

“Mianhae, Shin goon,” Chae Kyung apoligized.  “If you don’t want to give the semen sample, then we can just wait to see in another nine months, if I will get pregnant.  I’m not in any hurry to get pregnant.”

“Aniyo (No), Bingung.  I should just do it to be positive that everything is okay.  This way, if there is, then I can hopefully get it fixed,” Shin said sadly.  “But, why the hell couldn’t you tell me that you were doing this?  Why do I have to find out from Secretary Kong?” asked Shin.

Chae Kyung was on the verge of tears, “Moolyah (I don’t know), I guess I was scared and embarrassed for you too,” she cried.  “I thought it would be better if a man talked to you about it instead of me,” Chae Kyung pouted.

Shin got up from his chair and then from behind his desk to give his wife a hug.

“Kinchana. (It’s okay.) I guess, you were just worried about not getting pregnant.  How is it that we got pregnant with Young-ah, right away?”  Shin thought that it was strange.

“We will have lunch and then I will talk with Secretary Kong about the semen sample later,” sighed Shin.  “Kaja (Let’s go!).  Let’s get Young-ah and have our lunch.  It’s a beautiful day to eat outside,” smiled Shin.

Later that afternoon, Secretary Kong came to Shin’s office.  “Paeyha I think it would be a good idea if both you and Bingung Mama went to the Palace doctor’s to go over the procedures on what to do,” he said.  “I think this matter should be between you and your wife.  The doctor’s can see you and Bingung Mama anytime this afternoon,” he said.

Shin got up and went to look for his wife.  He sent her a text message on her phone to let her know to meet him at the Palace doctor’s office.

Chae Kyung was busy getting ready for one of her fashion shows that she had to prepare for as one of her school projects.  She was in her sewing room making an outfit for the show when she got the message.

She texted Shin back, “I will meet you there.”  She attached an emoticon of someone blowing kisses.

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“Annyeonghaesaeyo, Paeyha and Bingung Mama,” said Doctor Moon as he bowed to the two of them.  “Anjaeyo.(please sit down).

Doctor Moon didn’t want to alarm the King and Queen.  He spoke to them as though they were like any other married couple.  He just gave the facts and was willing to answer any of their questions with a smile on his face.

“I understand that both of you have been trying to become parents again.  That’s wonderful news Paeyha and Bingung Mama,” smiled Dr. Moon.  Normally, we shouldn’t worry if you are not with child after three months of trying, but since you are the Royal Couple, we would like to make sure everything is good.”

“Now, Paehya, I will be giving you a container that you must put your semen in so that we can test five things.  They are volume, concentration, count, mobility and morphology.  I will explain those five things after we get the results.  It is important that you abstain from having sex for two days, so that you will have the best results on how your sperm are doing.  I won’t say how you should put the sample in the container, but you must give it to Secretary Kong within two hours or they will not be of any use,” Dr. Moon spoke nonchalantly.

Chae Kyung wasn’t sure what he meant by I don’t care how you get the sample in the container.  Dr. Moon noticed the perplexed expression on the Queen’s face.  “Do you have any questions, Bingung Mama?” he asked.

“Well, I don’t understand what you mean by how he gets his semen in the container?” she said.

Shin grabbed Chae Kyung’s hand and patted it with his other hand.  Shin was smiling to the doctor, “Don’t worry, Dr. Moon.  I will explain it to my wife.”  Poor Shin was thinking, “This is so embarrassing!”

“Paeyha, you will have to give a sample at three different times over serval months, just to make sure the test results are accurate,” said Dr. Moon.

“Ihae haesseoyo.(I understand), said Shin. Shin had only heard about giving sperm from friends at school when they had sex education.

“That’s all I need to tell you for right now.  Once we have all three samples and study the results, I will call you back into the office.  Do you have any questions?” asked Dr. Moon.

“Aniyo,” Shin said while looking at Chae Kyung.  Chae Kyung followed Shin’s lead and shook her head no, too.

Chae Kyung and Shin walked back to their Palace quietly.  Chae Kyung wasn’t sure what to say to Shin.  She just figured that he would explain it to her once they got back, so that they could talk privately.

Once, they stepped into their home, Shin sat in a chair with his hands covering his face from embarrassment.

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“Aigoo,” said Shin.  He was not looking forward to giving the semen samples.

Chae Kyung looked at Shin and was afraid to ask, but she did anyways.  “What did the doctor mean by it didn’t matter how the semen got in the container?” she said.

“Yah! Ms. Airhead, how do you think it gets in there?” yelled Shin.

Chae Kyung thought for a minute and then said, “Ooohhh…now I get it.  Chae Kyung felt sorry for poor Shin.  “Omo…do you need Secretary Kong to go buy you some magazines?” she asked shyly.

“Yah!  I don’t want to talk about it!” screamed Shin.  Poor Shin was too embarrassed even in front of his own wife.

Chae Kyung tried to comfort Shin by letting him know that she was fine with waiting.  They could just keep trying and then if after nine months, nothing happened, then they could have him go through the semen analysis tests.

Shin was a bit concerned that they had no trouble with producing Young-ah after one time if Chae Kyung was in fact pregnant the day she almost threw up on their wedding day in Macau.  He didn’t understand why it wasn’t happening after three months.  He wanted to be certain that there was nothing wrong with his fertility.

“Don’t worry, Bingung.  I will take care of the tests.  Just be patient with me if I don’t have…you know…with you because I have to give a sample.

“Arasoe (okay), Chae Kyung said sadly.  She felt sorry for Shin having to feel embarrassed.  “You don’t have to feel embarrassed, Shin goon.  I went through some tests and got probed and prodded in places that made me very uncomfortable.”

“I know, Bingung.  That’s why…I will do my part to rule out any problems for us.  Don’t worry,” Shin said.

The following week, Chae Kyung was able to have another playdate with the children.  This time Seung Jo, Lady Choi and Kim Na Na took the children to play tennis.  Chae Kyung and Hyo-Rin watched how cute the children looked trying to hit the tennis ball to Seung Jo and Lady Choi on the other side of the net.

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“So, Chae Kyung…how did it go with Shin going to the fertility specialist?” asked Hyo-Rin.

“I feel so bad for Shin goon.  He was so embarrassed and felt humiliated,” whimpered Chae Kyung.  “I should be the one to have to go through all the tests.

“Well, you may still have to, if he comes out to be okay.  Then something could be wrong with you or both of you,” explained Hyo-Rin.  I understand some of the problems with fertility because another friend from our old high school is having the same difficulties as you and Shin.  Sometimes, the doctors can’t find anything and then all of a sudden, you will get pregnant and nobody knows why or when it happens.  Life is truly a miracle.”

“Jincha? (Really?)” said Chae Kyung.  “I hope it is the case for Shin and I.”

“I think that both you and Shin are probably trying too hard and you’re both stressed over being the new King and Queen of our country.  It is a huge responsibility.  More so for Shin.  Maybe, that’s why you haven’t been able to have a baby.  Both of you have been busy with work, family and school for you,” explained Hyo-Rin.

“Maja.(Your right.), Hyo-Rin.  Shin and I have been very busy, especially now with Shin being the King.  I have been very busy with raising Young-ah and going to school to do my fashion show project.  I also, still do charity work at the children’s hospital and the art school for children twice a week.  I guess, I have been really working on automatic pilot that I haven’t realized how much work I have been doing.” Chae Kyung started nodding her head in agreement.

After another two months, Dr. Moon called in Shin and Chae Kyung to go over the results of the semen analysis.

“Good morning, Paeyha and Bingung Mama,” said Dr. Moon.  “Anjasaeyo (Please sit.)”

Shin and Chae Kyung were both nervous to hear what Dr. Moon had to tell them.  Chae Kyung and Shin held each other’s hand tightly while Dr. Moon spoke.

Dr. Moon had a big smile and then said, “Chukahaeyo (Congratulations), Paeyha and Bingung Mama!  The tests results show that everything looks normal.  Paeyha’s sperm is excellent!  The amount (volume, count and concentration) is very good.  Also, the sperm moves very fast(mobility) and the shape(morphology) looks good.  So, all I can say is, just keep trying.  I suggest that you wear boxers and not tight bikini briefs.  Also, do not take really hot baths or go in a hot tub before you have sex. The heat can cause problems with sperm count. If in another six to seven months, nothing happens then we’ll do other tests.  I think what you both need to do personally, is to try to go on a vacation to relax with the whole family.  If you choose to make it a family trip, it could be fun and relaxing.  You need to take some time off from work and enjoy the simple things in life.  Go somewhere with the family, Paeyha.  It will do you some good,” smiled Dr. Moon.

Chae Kyung and Shin both smiled nervously at the same time.  Chae Kyung kept saying, “Gomasseumnida (Thank you), Dr. Moon,” while shaking his hand.  “Maybe we will name our second born after you…if it’s a boy,” Chae Kyung said giving Dr. Moon a bigger smile than his.

Shin thanked the doctor too, but then pulled Chae Kyung’s hand so that they could leave quickly without becoming embarrassed by Chae Kyung’s actions.

When they left the Doctor’s office, Chae Kyung squeezed Shin’s hand and held it to her lips to kiss and said, “I knew that there wasn’t anything to worry about.  Hyo-Rin was right, we are both probably stressed from our work as the King and Queen, and taking care of Young-ah and trying to have a baby added more stress,” Chae Kyung was running out of breath as she was talking so fast.

Shin stopped walking and let go of Chae Kyung’s hand abruptly.  “What did you just say?   Did you tell Hyo-Rin that I was possibly infertile?” At first, Shin spoke quietly with little emotion, but then suddenly he grew angry and started yelling at Chae Kyung.  “Why must you tell Hyo-Rin every little secret of our lives?  Can’t you keep your mouth shut about our private lives?  Why is it that I’m the last one to find out that we are having trouble with conceiving a baby?”  Shin was so angry that he left Chae Kyung by herself as he walked away.

“Shin goon…wait for me,” Chae Kyung said sadly to herself.  She knew that Shin was too mad to listen to her explanation.  It was one of those moments that she knew to leave Shin alone to release his anger.  She also realized that she made a huge mistake by confiding in Hyo-Rin on a subject that probably should have been between husband and wife alone.

Later that evening, Shin did not come back to the Palace.  He decided he needed to have a few drinks at an exclusive bar for the rich and famous who knew the management were discreet with their patrons.

Shin felt betrayed by his wife for confiding with Hyo-Rin about their personal problems.  He also didn’t like to hear that he could possibly be infertile even though Dr. Moon tried to reassure the King that he wasn’t.

Seung Jo came with him and became his drinking buddy for the evening.  Seung Jo was glad to join Shin because he knew that Shin had never gone drinking by himself before and he wanted to keep an eye on the King’s whereabouts.

Shin had reserved a private room with a karaoke machine if he was interested in singing.  He mainly watched the music videos while he had  three glasses of whiskey and some beers.  He was extremely drunk from the alcohol within a few hours.  Seung Jo only had one beer, so that he could be the designated driver.

Shin was so drunk that he started to reveal his problems to Seung Jo.

“Yah, Seung Jo.  Would you like to trade places with me?  Do you think being the King is really that great?” Shin asked with a drunken slur.

“Paeyha, don’t talk like that,” Seung Jo said.  “I know you have many responsibilities as the King, but you also have such a loving and beautiful wife and son.  I wish I had a family as loving and close as yours.”

“Are you so sure that you would want to live my life?  I may not be able to have any more children and I have a wife who loves me, but tells  her best friend my personal business.  I don’t have any secrets outside of the Palace as well as in my own home.  Everyone knows everything about me, it seems.  I don’t have a private life at all,” Shin said this sadly and with disgust.

Seung Jo didn’t know what to say. He was surprised to hear that  Paeyha was possibly infertile and that he was having marital problems with his wife.  They seemed so happy together and he knew that they were spending lots of alone time because he had to wait for them to come out of their bedroom on so many different occasions.

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Shin noticed that he had dozens of phone calls and text messages from Chae Kyung, but he refused to answer them.

Chae Kyung was feeling so desperate and concerned for Shin that she even called and text messaged Seung Jo, but Shin told him he was not allowed to answer her calls or text messages from his wife.  He wanted Chae Kyung to feel the pain and anguish that he was feeling for her betrayal to his masculinity and pride.

At two o’clock in the morning, when Shin arrived back at the Palace, Seung Jo had to carry the King on his back and brought him to the Royal couple’s bedroom.

Chae Kyung thanked Seung Jo for taking care of the Shin.  She asked Seung Jo if Shin had told him why he was so upset.  Seung Jo was honest and said that the King felt humiliated and felt ashamed that he was possibly infertile and that the Queen was not discreet with his secret.  Seung Jo didn’t want to put blame on the Queen, but he said, “I understand how the King may have felt.  Please, take care of Paeyha and love him with all your heart.  He just needs someone to believe in him and give him the confidence that he is a good King.  I know our Paeyha is an honorable, humble and hardworking man.  Goodnight, Bingung Mama,” said Seung Jo and he left the Queen with a deep bow.

Chae Kyung took off Shin’s shoes and placed an extra blanket from their closet on top of him.  She felt so terrible for her actions.  She snuggled next to Shin with tears in her eyes.  She kept saying through her tears, “Mianhae, Shin goon.  Saranghae.  I didn’t mean to hurt you.  I thought I could get some answers by talking with a dear and close friend.  I know Hyo-rin wouldn’t tell anyone our secret.  I knew you couldn’t be infertile.  You gave me our beautiful child, Young-ah.  Please, forgive me.  I won’t ever tell another secret of yours to anyone.  Please, forgive me…”  Chae Kyung could only cry to herself while Shin was asleep in a drunken stupor.

When Shin woke up in the early morning, he felt his hangover from drinking so much the night before.  He noticed Chae Kyung sleeping on top of him with her arms around his waist.  He desperately wanted to hug and kiss his wife and make up for yelling at her, but he was still too angry.  Shin gingerly moved from underneath Chae Kyung to take a shower to help him wake up and hopefully to get rid of his hangover too.

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After coming out of the shower, Shin looked at himself in the mirror and started talking to himself.

“Eottoke? (What do I do?) How do I live with myself knowing that Chae Kyung and I can’t have anymore children?  Will she still love me? Will she want to leave me for another man?  Is Young-ah really my son?”

Chae Kyung had come into the bathroom just at the moment when Shin had said the last sentence.  Chae Kyung stood behind Shin and cried, “How could you even think that Young-ah isn’t your son!”

Shin was still mad at Chae Kyung so he yelled at her, “How do I know for sure that Young-ah is really my son!  I don’t know what you were doing while you were in Macau before Tae Hoo Mama and I came out to visit.  You could have been having loads of fun without me!”

“Yah, Shin goon, don’t say such terrible things to me!” screamed Chae Kyung.  Chae Kyung was crying uncontrollably now.  “Please, forgive me.“ She pleaded, “I’m so sorry for disclosing our private matters with Hyo-Rin, but I just needed a friend to talk to.  I can’t undo the past.  I won’t talk to Hyo-Rin anymore about our lives.  I won’t be her friend anymore if you’d like.  I only need to talk to you from now on.  I was so concerned for my inability to conceive that I talked with others instead of coming to you.  I’m sorry…I’m sorry,” Chae Kyung kept saying through tears.  She fell to the floor and cried for forgiveness, but she knew Shin would not forgive her so easily.

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Chae Kyung had lost his trust in her again.  Just like the time she asked for a divorce on National television.  He felt humiliated then, and he felt humiliated now.  Shin left Chae Kyung crying on their bathroom floor while he went to get dressed.  He came back afterwards with Chae Kyung still sobbing on the floor.  He came back to crouch down beside her and in a very cold and mean tone Shin said, “Don’t worry, Bingung Mama.  I will not divorce you.  You are Young-ah’s eomma.  You will be my Queen by name only, but don’t you dare think about leaving me.  If you do, you must leave Young-ah with me.  He will always be my son, because I have loved him since the day he was born and you WILL NOT take him away from me!  Then Shin spoke with great sadness, “Maybe, just maybe…I will forgive you.  It will take time for me to trust you again.”

Chae Kyung spoke between sobs, “I won’t leave you or Young-ah.  I love both of you with all my heart.  I promise, I will make you trust me again.  Shin goon…just give me time.  I will prove to you that I have loved only you since the day that I came to live in this Palace.  I loved only you…and no one else.  Please believe me when I say this with all honesty.”

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Shin had his head down as he spoke calmly, “We will see, right now, I need time to accept my inability to father a child and your dishonesty towards my feelings.”

“Shin goon, Dr. Moon said that you are fine.  We can try to have another baby whenever you want.” Chae Kyung tried to remind Shin that the test results showed that he was in excellent health.  “We’ll just have you wear boxers and no more hot tubs, okay? Chae Kyung tried to lighten the mood.

Shin shook his head no.  “I don’t want to try for another child right now with you.  I need to trust you first.  Just give me some time, Bingung.  I must go to work now.  I will see you and Young-ah for lunch.  Don’t expect me to be home for dinner.  I have an engagement I need to attend to.”  Shin stood up and quietly left the room leaving Chae Kyung on the floor still crying and heavy hearted.

Chae Kyung knew that Shin would not forgive or trust her so easily.  She made a huge mistake in worrying about her own feelings and concerns over her own infertility to her friends rather than approaching her own husband.

That evening, Seung Jo took Shin to an expensive hotel in the city.  He told Seung Jo to wait in the car.  Seung Jo felt uneasy about leaving the King without being able to protect him, but Shin would not have Seung Jo with him.  He reassured Seung Jo that he would be fine.  “It is a private matter and leave it at that.  If I find out that you followed me or leaked out anything about my business, I will personally kill you with my own hands,” Shin shook a finger at Seung Jo’s face while saying this.

Seung Jo looked at Shin wide-eyed and believed him.  Yeh, (Yes) Paeyha.  I will just sit in the car and wait for your return.  Just text or call me if you need anything,” said Seung Jo.

Shin was waiting in the hotel room and poured himself a drink of whiskey from a bottle that was already in the room’s bar.  Within a few minutes, he heard a knock at the door.  When he opened the door, he invited Hyo-Rin to come in.

“Jal jinesseoyo? (How are you?), asked Shin.

“Kinchanaeyo (I’m fine),” said Hyo-Rin. “And you?”

“I’m okay. Where is Suzy?” asked Shin.

“She’s with her grandparents.  Shin, don’t keep me in suspense.  You have never called me before since you’ve been married to Chae Kyung.  What’s going on?”  Hyo-Rin was very concerned for Shin and especially for Chae Kyung.  Chae Kyung had become a very special and close friend to Hyo-Rin, more than Shin was. When Shin and Hyo-Rin broke up, Hyo-Rin was always the one asking to see Shin.  Not the other way around.

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“I’m sure you heard from Chae Kyung that I…or should I say, we are having difficulty conceiving a baby.  I want you to keep our private lives, private should I say.  Aish!” Shin didn’t know how to express his feelings to Hyo-Rin.

“Listen, Shin.  I know Chae Kyung can sometimes have a big mouth or doesn’t think before she speaks, but she means well and she adores you and Young-ah.  No, I have not told anyone about your intimate affairs.  She was just asking for advice on how to tell you to get checked because she was very concerned why she couldn’t have a baby with you,” sighed Hyo-Rin.  Get over your manhood, and just try to do all the medical procedures necessary for you two to have another baby.  I know that’s what both of you would like, right?” she said bluntly.

“I know, Hyo-Rin, but I just wished she would have come to me when she is concerned about our life or Young-ah,” Shin spoke with sadness.

“I think she noticed that you are very busy with your duties as the King.  The last time you were working on your military project, she said you didn’t want to be bothered by her,” explained Hyo-Rin.  “Try to also think about Chae Kyung’s feelings too.  The hardest part of being married is communication.  Which I believe got the two of you in trouble the last time because Yul was trying to take Chae Kyung away from you and I was trying to take you away from Chae Kyung,” she said.

“Agaesumnida (I understand),” replied Shin.  “I will think about what you just told me, but I still am not happy with how things turned out.  Please don’t tell anyone about our private life, especially Kang In.  I will never hear the end of it if Kang In finds out,” smiled Shin.  “ I was bragging to him how I got Chae Kyung pregnant on our first time together.”  Shin started blushing and couldn’t believe he told Hyo-Rin something so intimate and personal.

“Yah, Shin!  Look who’s telling secrets now.  Dangsin-eun babo (You fool). Don’t forget, the most important thing in life are the people that you love.  Don’t hurt the ones that you love.  Kinchana? (Okay?), said Hyo-Rin tipping her head sideways to look into Shin’s eyes.

Shin was smiling now.  “You are a good friend, Hyo-Rin.  Now, I know why Chae Kyung confides in you.  You will be a good influence for my wife.  Also, please don’t let her know that I spoke with you.  I think she will be jealous if she finds out,” grinned Shin.

“Maybe, but I don’t think so.  Chae Kyung is really a very special girl.  She has a heart of gold and she is sooooo naive,” laughed Hyo-Rin, but I still love her.  You need to keep her close to your heart, Shin.  She is more precious than anything in this world, you idiot.”

“Yah! How can you talk to the King that way?” Shin growled.

“Get over it, Shin.  You may be the King, but I see you as my friend foremost,” smiled Hyo-Rin.  “I think Chae Kyung’s personality is rubbing off on me.  Don’t you think?” laughed Hyo-Rin.

When Shin came home that evening, Chae Kyung had already put Young-ah to bed.  Shin went inside just to check on Young-ah.

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“Yah…Young-ah, what are you doing?  You should be asleep,” smiled Shin.

“Appa!” screamed Young-ah happily.  Young-ah ran into Shin’s arms and gave him a big hug.  Shin picked up Young-ah and carried him back into bed.

“Appa, tell me a story about when you were little.  Did you ever get in trouble from halabeoji?” he asked.  “Halabeoji is always so tired.  I don’t get to see him very much.  And you too!  How come I don’t get to see you much either?”

“I know, remember I told you, being the King is hard work.  Someday, you might be the next King,” said Shin.

“I don’t want to be King if I don’t get to see you and eomma.  I’d rather stay home and live with you forever and ever as the Crown Prince,” smiled Young-ah.

Let me tell you something.  How about we go on a camping trip with the whole family?” said Shin.  “This way, we can spend time together and have Jeungjo Halmeoni Tae Hoo Mama, Halmeoni Hwang Hoo Mama and Halabeoji Paeyha Lee Hyeon, Ji Woo and Seung Jo and whomever else would like to join us?  Goel?(Deal?)”

“Yay!  That’s a deal.  Pinky promise me,” said Young-ah.

Shin and Young-ah did a pinky promise.

“I want to go camping and fishing!  Do you know how to camp and fish?” Young-ah said excitedly.

“Ne, I was a Boy Scout when I was young.  I will show you how.  Now, let’s go to bed or else I won’t take you camping, araseo?”  Shin said happily.

“Okay, appa.  I’m closing my eyes.  I’m asleep.  Annyeonghi jumuseyo. (Goodnight.), smiled Young-ah.  Young-ah started snoring as if he was already asleep.

Shin kissed Young-ah on his forehead and said, “Goodnight.”

Shin couldn’t imagine his life without Young-ah.  His son meant everything to him.  There was no way possible that Young-ah was not his child.  He was sure of it, but it still was on the back of his mind why he couldn’t impregnate Chae Kyung as easily as he did on their honeymoon or was it the night of constant hiccuping.  Either way, Young-ah was his son, no matter what.

When Shin came into his bedroom, he saw Chae Kyung already in her pajamas under the covers looking at a magazine.  Shin could tell that Chae Kyung had been crying a lot.  Her eyes were still red and puffy.  He thought about what Hyo-Rin had told him.  He knew that Chae Kyung loved him dearly, but he just didn’t know what to say.  Should he say he was sorry for telling her that he didn’t trust her with her big mouth?  Yes. Was he sorry that he couldn’t get her pregnant? Yes. Was he sorry for not believing that Young-ah was his son?  Yes, he was an idiot.  He was so angry that he hurt the most important person in his life, besides Young-ah.

Shin grabbed his tie and pulled it off.  He went to his dresser to grab a pair of pajama bottoms.  He went to take off his clothes and then put on his pajama bottoms.  He left his undershirt on.  He crawled into bed and didn’t say a word.  He laid on his side of the bed facing away from Chae Kyung.  It was just like their forced wedding night.  He could hear Chae Kyung put her magazine down and then she turned off the night light on the bedside table.  She laid on her side facing away from Shin.  He turned around to see her back.  He wanted to reach out to her and tell her he was sorry, but he hesitated.  Then suddenly, he heard her tears.

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Shin couldn’t take it any longer. He finally spoke to Chae Kyung.  “Yah, Bingung Mama.  I thought about what I said to you this morning and Mi…mi…Mianhae. (I’m sorry.)” Shin said with sincerity.

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Chae Kyung laid on her side of the bed and tears fell down her face.  Shin could hear her sniffling and he saw her shoulders shuddering from crying.

Shin got out of the bed and ran to her side to see her face covered in tears.  Shin knelt down beside the bed and cried with her.  “Mianhae, Bingung…saranghae.  Please don’t cry anymore.  I can’t take seeing your tears, Bingung.”

Shin reached to put his arms around Chae Kyung. “I know I said some awful things to you.  I was very hurt that you basically hung out our dirty laundry for Hyo-Rin to see.  I want you to come to me if you are upset or worried about us or about Young-ah.  I know sometimes, I don’t listen to you, but I’m trying.  I will try harder…I promise.  Please, don’t cry anymore,” said Shin.

Chae Kyung couldn’t stop crying. She put her fist to her heart and said, “Shin goon you stabbed me in the heart when you said that you didn’t think Young-ah was your son.  You don’t know how precious he is to me.  And for you to tell me that I could never have my son and to be in a loveless marriage is the worst,” Chae Kyung started crying uncontrollably.  I could never hate you, but when you said those things to me…I just wanted to die!”  I thought about leaving you after you said those terrible things, but I could never, ever leave Young-ah.  Not even if you hated me for the rest of your life!” cried Chae Kyung.

Now, Shin felt Chae Kyung’s pain because he knew he couldn’t live without Young-ah or Chae Kyung.  Both Shin and Chae Kyung cried in each other’s arms and both said they were sorry.

Shin kissed Chae Kyung tenderly on her forehead and then he kissed the tip of her nose.  He kissed her wet cheeks and then he kissed her softly on the lips.  Chae Kyung was so heartbroken, but yet she yearned for Shin’s soft lips on hers.  He kissed her tenderly and then he kissed her with a forceful passion that made him aroused.  He kissed Chae Kyung’s neck and drowned himself in her scent.  He loved her sweet scent from her perfume and he loved the softness of her skin.

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He told Chae Kyung that he would never doubt her love for him and that he would treat her with kindness for always and forever.  He was deeply sorry and asked her to forgive him for his awful words.  He promised to cherish her more than she would ever know.  He also told his wife that if they couldn’t get pregnant by Young-ah’s third birthday, that he would start looking into fertility treatments.  He wanted another baby with Chae Kyung desperately.  He knew she was a wonderful wife and mother.  He wanted nobody else, but her by his side.

Chae Kyung only wanted Shin by her side too.  She of course loved Shin and Young-ah more than life itself.  She promised to talk with him and only him if she had concerns about their marriage or with Young-ah.  She promised to be more discreet with things she told Hyo-Rin and she also promised to be a Queen that Shin could be proud of.

“Shin goon, no more talking about promises,” grinned Chae Kyung.  “Let’s try to fulfill one of your promises by having a baby before Young-ah’s third birthday.”

“I was just about to say that, Bingung.  I’m so glad that we think alike,” laughed Shin.

Shin jumped under the covers next to Chae Kyung and then the clothes came flying across the room from being thrown from underneath the covers.

“Yah, Shin goon…don’t be so rough.  Go back to kissing me softly and slowly,” said Chae Kyung.

“Like this?” said Shin.

“Hmmm…that’s better,” cooed Chae Kyung.

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To be continued…

4 Comments
  1. novchime permalink

    Nice chapter, Bingung Mama! First a conflict and then reconciliation. Through this, you stressed what is important in a relationship. I cant wait to read the next chapter.

    • I am relieved that you are happy with this chapter. I wasn’t sure if the subject matter was too…I should say maybe too personal for some people. I couldn’t have Shin be mad at his princess for too long. lol. They will have arguements as all couples do. Thanks Novchime again for giving me your personal feelings. Gomawo! 🙂

  2. Nella permalink

    Bingung mama, I love those personal matters so much.. Hahahha. Keep up your good work!! I eager to read the next chapter. Thank you..

    • Thanks Nella. I am taking my time to think how am I going to wrap up this story. It’s not as easy as I thought. I don’t want to rush it, but at the same time, I don’t want to prolong it either or else readers will lose interest. So, hopefully no more than two more chapters. Thanks again for your nice comments.

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